Monday, August 6, 2007

First day back to work...

What a weird feeling I had early this morning.

I woke up at 6:30 AM when the alarm went off for the first time. I didn't remember hearing it or hitting the snooze button but I knew that was what woke me up. I laid there in a daze trying to remember why it was I had to be awake. After a few minutes of laying there, feeling completely blank, "work" popped into my head. The whole idea of going to work seemed like a very distant memory. It felt extremely strange (and a bit frightening) that only one week away from work made me feel like I could forget so completely about a routine that hasn't changed AT ALL in the past 2 years. I wonder if my job is more stressful for me than I initially thought. It felt almost like I was digging out a repressed memory from some deep dark corner of my mind as I laid there this morning trying to remember why it was that I was awake.

I went through all the motions of getting ready, got in my car and drove the entire 25 minutes to work in an almost robotic trance. Only now, at a little after 11 AM, am I starting to feel like I'm at work again. I've been doing my work but I've just been feeling "robotic" again like I was on the drive in. I'm just doing things without really thinking about them...

It's been a strange morning.

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